Self Care
At the point in my life that this story takes place, I was working two part time jobs as well as going to school full time. One of my jobs was very fast paced as a leasing consultant for an apartment complex. My other job was as a child advocate at a local domestic violence center. As a requirement of this job, I was asked to go to a training about child sexual abuse. I left feeling as though the presenter had only discussed the problem, and never gave us a solution. As I walked to my car, I felt a sense of frustration beginning to bubble within me. My eyes began to fill with tears, and as I sat down into my driver seat and slammed the door shut, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I felt defeated.
My counselor at the time said “you need to do self care”, and I said “I don't have time for that”. What I learned was that I was burned out. I had put so much energy into everything else but myself. I was done, and hitting a wall. I was tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was apparent that it was time to do something different.
The best way that I have understood self care is comparing it to the safety talk we all hear before we take off in a plane. The flight attendant’s tell us “in the event of a loss of pressure or oxygen, masks will drop from the ceiling. Please be sure to place your mask on first, before helping others”. They tell us this because if we do not take care of ourselves first, then who will? Perhaps I am sitting next to someone who is unable to help themselves at that moment. If I help them first, and I pass out from the loss of oxygen, they won't be able to help me. But if the role was reversed, I would still be able to help them.
My transition into self care started off small. At first I began by taking a lunch, not working during it. I choose to be consciously aware that watching my favorite show was an act of self care, rather than an entertainment to fill a void. I began to not just throw my morning tea into a travel mug and head into work, but instead woke up 15 minutes earlier, so that I could actually enjoy it. I would sit, and sip my tea while I read something that interested me. I would be mindful of how the smell of clove, cinnamon, cardamom, and nutmeg all came together. How the beauty of the spices felt warm and comforting, that left my mouth slightly buzzed. This was my tea, in a moment just for me.
Sometimes self care is being mindful. Sometimes self care is an act of doing; talking to a friend, going on a walk, getting a massage, or simply doing something that brings happiness, joy or peace. Sometimes self care is doing absolutely nothing. It could be sitting in silence, binge watching a TV show, going to bed early, or sleeping in. The trick is to find what works for you, and to have a plethora of things that you would like to do for self care.
My self care now looks like yoga in the mornings, concerts, travel, massages, binge watching TV when I want to be lazy, going on walks, talking to friends, camping, being by a fire, eating chocolate mindfully, and many, many more. I usually ask myself “What do I need at this moment?”, and then I listen and act on it. Sometimes instead of yoga, I sleep in. Sometimes instead of going on a walk, I clean. I choose whatever is going to best serve me.
What I notice now, about self care, is that everything else seems more manageable and attainable. It’s a beautiful thing that when I take time for myself, that I thrive and therefore the people I care for do as well. I heard once that burnout is when you are doing too little of the things that make you feel alive. What have you done today to feel alive?
Sincerely,
Sarah
