Sobriety Breaks

I have never met anyone who wanted to be an addict when they grew up. When most people start drinking for the first time, it’s because they want to have fun. The reasons people drink varies from social settings, holidays, rough days at work, or maybe just because it’s Tuesday and the sun is shining. Alcohol can be a slippery slope, a habit that can easily become daily or infrequent but too much. I think there is something about this time of year that people start to re-examine their relationship with alcohol.  

Most people don’t know that a hangover is actually acute withdrawal symptoms from alcohol; hence “hair of the dog”. These symptoms get more severe depending on how frequently and how much one consumes. But consistent drinking, even just two beverages a day is enough to create tolerance and dependence. I’m not against alcohol, but I think it's important to treat it with caution. Quick fun fact for you, Rockefeller was for the prohibition, because he already was invested in oil. He was for the prohibition because cars could run on alcohol. Can you imagine a world in which we used alcohol for our cars instead of our bodies? 

There are many ways to safeguard drinking and making sure that you stay in control. Some of these tips include, eating before drinking, drinking water after each beverage, setting a limit for yourself, having a strict cut off time, and not drinking during certain events. It is actually recommended in the Big Book of AA that if you are not certain if you are struggling with alcohol to try controlled drinking. The idea is that if you can not maintain sobriety or control, that perhaps it’s time to step away, and in some cases, permanently. 

It’s become more popular in our culture to take sobriety breaks, such as sober January. Or maybe it’s two-three weeks, or maybe it’s two-three months. The idea is to stay sober for a predetermined amount of time. In doing so we are able to re-examine our relationship with alcohol (or other substances). If you find it hard to stay on your path of sobriety it’s important to ask “why?”. What drove you to use it again? Is there potential for growth that is being covered up by being intoxicated?

At one point I realized my relationship with alcohol was unhealthy. I tried to stay sober for two weeks and then a month, but each time something happened that brought me back to drinking. It wasn’t necessarily because I had a bad day, sometimes it was because I was with my friends who were having fun. I became determined and wanted to take a true break from it. I determined that one year of sobriety would be best for me. In that time, I was actively doing EMDR therapy and actively using the 12 steps of recovery. After one year of sobriety, I felt really good, and felt there was more for me to learn. After two years of sobriety, I felt that I was in a good place with my healing and began to explore what a first drink back might look like. I talked about it in depth with my closest support. Eleven months later, I had my first drink back with two of my closest friends on a girl’s trip. This felt right to me, because it didn’t feel too casual, and it didn’t feel too elevated, just right in the middle. 

After that, my drinking did increase some, as if the pendulum that was stuck in sobriety swung too far the opposite direction. But eventually, it found a balanced swing. Nowadays I drink occasionally, maybe one-two times a month. According to AA, I have relapsed. Through my own understanding I respectfully disagree. As I did my best to safeguard all that I have learned and healed from, I set one rule that I truly follow. I will not drink on days that I feel bad, angry, sad, etc. If I am drinking and I start to feel something negative come over me, I stop. I also was prepared that if my drinking became out of control again, that I would commit to a sober life and become active in whichever 12 step program I needed most. 

I am a huge supporter and advocate of sobriety breaks. I think they are an excellent way to check in with yourself and re-evaluate what is important to you. It’s also good to evaluate if there are areas of growth. I believe when it comes to addiction, that there are layers. Some people are truly casual drinkers, some people are problem users / coping in an unhealthy way, and some people truly have addiction. I'm sure there are areas of gray between these layers as well. If you find you can not maintain a break, or if after your break the addiction monster takes over again, perhaps a sober life is better suited. I personally would rather be in control of myself and remain sober, than to be controlled by anything else.

Sincerely,

Sarah